FadeStrikemind

...is knowing when the hell to wake up. I don't mean this literally. Obviously, when the alarm clock goes off, my ass is up and moving. Usually. No, what I mean is knowing when to stop wondering, daydreaming, hoping, wishing...and either make it come true, or let it die. It's not meant to be emotionally brutal. But when we get to be older, most of us stop wanting to be the first president-astronaut-pop star-athlete, like we did when we were kids. We pick only one passion. Or none at all. It appears I haven't done that yet.

It's been a while. I mean, well, obviously. But it has been a long time. For good reason. To me, anyway. The last time I actively used this account was in 2010. RavenDarkwing (https://www.deviantart.com/ravendarkwing) had only been gone a year. I was still grieving, and making terrible decisions, socially, romantically, and for my liver. But most importantly, I had no focus in what I did here. I felt myself lost and insecure in my abilities as a free-thinking artist. I only thrived on the opinions of my peers, and when those stopped coming through, I gave the account up altogether. That was three years ago, and while some of my outlooks have changed, I am still me. Just reinv

I realize it has been well over a year since I wrote here. Last time I did, I was living over RetiredGamer64 (https://www.deviantart.com/retiredgamer64)'s house, wanted an iPod for Christmas, and for all of DPT--RonjaNoku (https://www.deviantart.com/ronjanoku), RavenDarkwing (https://www.deviantart.com/ravendarkwing) and waterspirit12 (https://www.deviantart.com/waterspirit12)-- to meet in person. How simple those days were. In a year's time, everything changed. Ed and I moved out and got our own apartment, only for me to dump him and date a guy I call Sunshine. He truly made me happy (and got me that iPod), and life was starting to take a fresh and exciting direction. And then, RavenDarkwing (https://www.deviantart.com/ravendarkwing) passed away August 31st, from complications of the H1N1 virus...and things, though still